The Art of Self Trust

A 12-week program to help you trust yourself fully, without second-guessing, overthinking, or being stuck in the terror of getting it wrong.

After working with dozens of clients on healing trauma, attachment styles, and overcoming anxiety, I've realized there's one common thread most of my clients struggle with:

A sense of self trust.

I'm talking about things like:

• Chronic indecision & self doubt
• Over-reliance on external reassurance & validation
• Fear & panic around making mistakes
• Analysis paralysis
• Perfectionism
• Anxiety
• A pattern of feeling stuck and helpless in confusion when it comes to making bigger, more meaningful decisions for your life

Ultimately all of this boils down to someone struggling to trust themselves, their bodies, their capability, their resilience, their discernment, and ultimately, their choices.

And this makes total sense. Growing up in environments that don’t nurture and reinforce our connection with our inner compass - or worse, environments that chronically destabilize that connection - will naturally have lasting effects on our ability to trust ourselves in adulthood.

It’s not our fault, but still, it’s a big problem. A low sense of self trust impacts everything we do. And as adults, we’re the ones with the power to repair this connection with ourselves. 

When we’re struggling with self trust, we experience it as feeling stuck, anxious, and confused in moments we really need to feel secure in ourselves and our own decision-making skills.

We find ourselves:

• Ignoring our gut for months or even years, staying in relationships or friendships far too long, only to later admit we saw the red flags from the start.
• Rewriting the same text message ten times before sending it, then panicking when we don't get an immediate reply.
• Knowing we need to ask for the promotion and raise, but being terrified that we’ll mess it up so we shy away
• Imposter syndrome galore, keeping us from pursuing goals we’re 100% qualified for and capable of
• Avoiding setting a boundary with a friend because we're terrified of how they'll react, even though we feel how painful it is to set our own needs aside.
• Spending hours spiraling about whether we're doing enough (or too much) to create real change, until we burn out and do nothing at all.
• It even shows up when we find ourselves changing outfits multiple times before going out - not because of how we feel in the clothes - but because we’re worried we'll be judged.
• The list goes on…

Not feeling safe to lead our own lives is taxing as hell, because we have to work hard to compensate for that loss of safety. 

We spend a lot of physical and mental energy feeling stuck in indecision and over-planning. We ask others for their input which just makes us more confused. It reinforces us going in circles instead of making the choice that’s right for us in that moment. 

We shy away from risks, opportunities, and relationships that we’re capable of handling to improve our quality of life and circumstances. And we criticize ourselves all along the way, regardless of what decision we make or how we make it. 

The energy we spend on these things takes away from the time and energy we could have to build the lives we really want. Lives with the right people for us, the right career paths and job opportunities for us, the right purpose, hobbies, family and relationship structures for us. The right paths, for us. 

And even when we do build the lives we know are something to be grateful for - maybe everything we thought we wanted - we're so on guard, busy assessing if we got it all wrong, that we can’t allow ourselves to simply be present and enjoy everything we worked so hard for.

Struggling with self trust isn’t a small problem to have. It’s a huge barrier to living and being present for a life that is meaningful, loving, healthy, and supportive in sustainable ways. 

I know that sounds tough (because it is), but here’s the good news: 

If a lack of self trust makes everything in life harder, that also means deepening our sense of self trust makes everything else in life easier.

What does life look like for you if you spend way less time feeling stuck in indecision, analysis paralysis, and anxiety? What does it look like for you if you can stop spending all that time and energy running in circles? 

More time taking chances worth taking, believing in yourself, and knowing that you can support yourself, have your own back, and take good care of yourself along the way - no matter what comes?

A part of us knows this. It’s a big reason why we get into healing work to begin with. 

We want to trust ourselves and the decisions we make.

We want to be people who:

• Can find the choices that feel right to us.
• Trust our gut without questioning it.
• Feel confident in our decisions.
• Stick by ourselves, even if the outcomes of our choices get uncomfortable or don’t go perfectly.

But we struggle to tap into the difference between those people and us, which is this:

People who trust themselves make choices based on what feels true and aligned to them. 

You’ve probably had this experience, even if you’re still struggling to tap into it consistently.

When you know that even if outcomes of those choices are difficult or uncomfortable, you know you did the thing that felt in alignment with your inner compass and what it was telling you. And from that space, you’re able to remain supportive of yourself, even in moments where you make a mistake or have to learn tough lessons.

When someone is struggling to trust themselves, they’re usually not able to find what feels true and right for them. So instead, they’re more prone to looking for something outside of them to give them the “right” or “wrong” answer on paper or according to society or moral high grounds. 

This becomes more confusing when everyone has conflicting opinions. Now you have to choose with even more confusion and conflicting feedback - which creates more labor for you. More anxiety, nervousness, confusion, and fear to sift through. 

And when the outcomes of those choices are difficult or uncomfortable, when you make it out of alignment, you struggle to support yourself through the potential consequences of that outcome. Which makes you more prone to shame yourself, fall into despair, and harsh self criticism than loving accountability that you would otherwise be able to tap into.

Most of us have experienced both of these. Some of us feel more stuck in experiencing the latter. 

And who wants to spend another second living like that? I know I didn't. I imagine you don't either.

Breaking free from the constant struggle with self trust allows you to get back into your life.

But what keeps us stuck? 

Usually it’s this: 

Some part of us is convinced that when we start making the right choices, then we will finally be safe to trust ourselves, and we’ll have earned that inner support and self love we’re seeking. But that’s not how this works.

The truth is this:

If you can build a muscle of finding what choices feel true and aligned to you, and start supporting yourself through the outcomes of those choices, you'll finally stop second-guessing your decisions and fearing their outcomes...

Because they won’t feel so misaligned and painful to begin with.

Luckily, I've been helping my clients develop a deeper and more resilient sense of self trust for years now by leading them down exactly this path.

What’s the process?

The simplified version is basically this:

Step 1: Learn to go inward and listen for the feedback that’s already happening inside of you. Yes, there will be conflict. That’s when we move to step 2.

Step 2: Get those conflicting parts of you into alignment and on the same team. Find win-win solutions where every part of you can all feel heard and understood, like their needs matter. So no part of you gets left behind. Now you’re in alignment. 

Step 3: Practice making decisions from this space and notice how it feels in your body when you move from this space of alignment.

Step 4: When the outcomes of those decisions are tough, or you fear you’ve made a mistake, learn what it means to build these parts of you up into transformation so you can stop beating them down into change.

Self trust is a natural byproduct of feeling aligned internally and being supportive of yourself no matter what happens.

Why? 

Because we trust people who are consistently on our team, compassionately understanding of our decisions and mistakes, and supportive in how they encourage us to grow.

When we treat ourselves this way, our trust in ourselves grows accordingly. Because a nervous system that trusts you is a regulated nervous system.

Of course, it takes work to get there. So I combined the tools, strategies and modalities that worked best for my clients into one streamlined, accelerated 12-week program to help you - finally - cultivate this level of trust with yourself.

A 12-week program to help you break free from overthinking, indecision, fear of mistakes and self doubt, so you can finally develop a deeper sense of self trust. 

Here's what you get:

The Full Art of Self Trust Course

Get weekly lessons, homework, and practices designed to help you heal your relationship with your inner compass, get into alignment with it, and see for yourself how reliable it actually is. Keep reading to see a weekly breakdown of what we'll cover.

Weekly One-on-One Coaching Calls

Courses are helpful, but healing isn't one-size fits all. So you also get 12, weekly private coaching calls with me personally to support you through the journey. I explain more about my style of coaching and how it compares to traditional therapy below.

“Back Pocket Support" Between Sessions

We'll get you set up in the Signal Messenger App so you and I can send voice and text messages between sessions.

Yes, boundaries apply and I'll let you know what those are when the time comes. But it's good to know you'll have optional access to me on the fly between sessions, and I'm happy to offer it.

Week 1: What Part of You is This?

If you're able to make any decisions at all, it's because a part of you does in fact trust yourself to do so. But another part of you doesn't, or struggles to. That’s the part of you we’re here to support.

In Week 1, we start by giving you some relief in understanding what's going on inside of you. No more "why am I like this?" in your spirals. We'll get curious about this part of you so we can understand what it needs. I'll walk you through steps to identify and learn more about this part of you that struggles to trust you, why, and how we can help it.

Week 2: Translating the Inner Narrative

So many relationship issues begin & end with communication. Misunderstandings escalate into conflict when we aren't listening to understand, and we aren't being mindful about what we say.

Next thing you know we're getting divorced because somebody never took out the trash (but it was never about the trash, was it?)

Your relationship with yourself is no different.

In week 2 we'll add to the relief from the first lesson by showing you - and this other part of you - that you're secretly on the same team. And how that's a good thing.

We'll revisit the part of you that’s struggling to trust you, and work on truly understanding the message beneath the surface of its inner narrative. What does this part of you that instills doubt and indecision really want? What is it really trying to get you to see? You might be surprised - and relieved - by what you find.

Week 3: Working In the Grey

When we struggle with indecision it’s because conflicting parts of ourselves are constantly battling. It can feel like we're choosing between extremes at all times.

"I need to rest, but I need to work or I'll be lazy and fall behind."

Both of these parts have a point, so which part of you do you choose? Or, in other words, which one do you reject or abandon? And how do we build a sense of self trust if we're constantly neglecting certain parts of ourselves? You guessed it, we can’t.

That’s why it never feels like there’s a “‘right” answer. Luckily, the answers that do feel right don’t force us to choose between parts of ourselves. And just like you can mediate external conflicts to find a middle ground that works for everyone, you can mediate internal conflicts too.

In Week 3, I’ll walk you through my specific formula to create win-wins between your inner parts. We'll check how these wins feel to your nervous system - they should be something that regulates you and gives you relief from the tension of the inner conflict. Once you get good at finding that middle ground, you never have to abandon or neglect yourself in decision-making again.

Week 4: The One Thing People Forget When They Lose Self-Trust

Everyone who struggles with self-trust forgets one crucial truth, and the key to finding validation and reassurance from within.

In Week 4, we take a moment to remember what you’ve forgotten. Notice how it feels in your body to give yourself this acknowledgment. Then, we teach the parts of you that struggle with trust to integrate this back into how you think of yourself and how you feel about yourself. So you can stop forgetting what empowerment feels like.

Week 5: A New Model for Transformation

Most of us who struggle deeply with making mistakes got that from somewhere. And usually it has to do with our upbringing. We learn somewhere along the way to beat ourselves down into change in hopes that that will make us more trustworthy. We use harsh shame, criticism, and perfectionism to teach ourselves valuable lessons.

This produces performative change. But our anxiety escalates with it. Our self worth drops with it. And we don't get any better at trusting ourselves - even when we're achieving everything we set out to do. All of the changes it creates are… aesthetic. But we don’t feel any better for it.

People who trust themselves don’t beat themselves down into change. They build themselves up into transformation. We still can have a beautiful life on the outside, but we get to feel better for it, too.

In Week 5, I’ll show you how you can change your script, build yourself up into change, and notice how much better that feels so you can embody it fully.

Week 6: Compassionate Accountability

We're in an era right now in society where we’ve replaced true accountability with shame. But accountability and shame aren't the same thing.

Again, one beats you down into performative change to hide the truth of who you are (which makes you feel like crap). The other allows your truth to safely come to light, be unpacked, and worked on without causing you any harm along the way.

We create enemies of ourselves when we shame ourselves. When we turn on ourselves and abuse ourselves for making mistakes. We don't trust our enemies, and we don’t trust people who treat us like enemies. Including when we treat ourselves this way.

In Week 6 we’ll uncover the difference between shame and accountability in action. I’ll teach you how to apply compassionate accountability to yourself. You do not have to turn on yourself to learn from your mistakes and make healthier choices moving forward.

Week 7: Embracing Disappointment

I've noticed that “trust issues” in general strongly correlate with low capacity for disappointment. Think about it: we struggle to trust people because we don't have capacity to allow them to disappoint us - again.

This turns inward when we struggle with self trust - especially for the perfectionist types.

What nobody told us is that disappointment can be one of our greatest teachers. It doesn't have to break our trust. It can actually help us build it, refine it, shape it.

In Week 7, I'll show you how to use disappointment to build and refine your sense of trust - both with yourselves and others. And how to work with it in a way that reduces the amount of disappointment you experience overall, anyway. So it's a win-win. You don’t have to be afraid of it, and you get to experience less of it anyway (because yes, it is painful, that’s true).

Week 8: Learning to Work With Anxiety

Another major experience for people who struggle with self trust is, of course, the voice of anxiety. The perpetual "what if?" and the physical symptoms that come with imagining the worst case scenario and the unknown.

The good news is that just like other parts of yourself that we work with throughout the course, your anxiety is also a part of you. And you can work with it just the same.

In Week 8 I’ll support you in transforming your relationship with anxiety. Instead of fighting to stifle it, we’ll work on understanding what it needs, learning what would help it relax, and learning how to build a more trusting relationship with this part of yourself so it can spend less time hijacking your system, and more time stepping aside to let you lead. 

Week 9: Discernment: Anxiety vs. Gut Instinct

When we talk about "discernment" we're essentially talking about trusting your gut. But when someone tells you to trust your gut, what comes up for you? 

People who struggle with self trust tend to feel a little defeated or at a loss in this area. I’ve heard things like:

• “My gut is the thing that steers me wrong"
• "I can't tell the difference between my gut instinct and my anxiety."
• “I don’t even know how to do that/know what that means.”

You're not alone, but we have a fix for that and it's surprisingly simple. Not easy, but definitely simple.

In Week 9 you get to discover what that fix is and some practical steps to put it to use, so you can start practicing discernment in a way that feels more clear to you.

Week 10: Gut vs. Intuition

Your gut keeps you safe from danger, but your intuition shows you where to go and even what risks might be worth taking.

People who trust themselves follow their intuition as it leads them toward things like:

• Joy
• Wonder
• Play
• Life-changing opportunities
• Meaningful adventures
• Fulfilling projects
• Rest
• And more

Intuition and gut work together. And much like we need to know how to attune to our gut instinct for protection and survival, we also need to know how to attune to our intuition to step out of survival mode and discover what it means to thrive.

In Week 10, I'll help you learn to identify and tune into your intuition. You’ll get to practice trusting it to point you toward decisions that align with your best interests, your desires, and your values.

Week 11: Making Intentional Use of External Feedback & Validation

It’s not that people who trust themselves never seek external validation, reassurance, or feedback. We ALL need that kind of support. We’re social creatures for a reason. 

It’s that they navigate external feedback differently than people who struggle with self trust.

In Week 11, we’re actually going to practice asking for the feedback and support we need, but we’re going to look at it through the lens of someone who trusts themselves. Who isn’t outsourcing their self trust to these places. 

Week 12: Bringing it All Together - Working With Your Inner Compass

You'll have covered a lot of moving pieces in the last 11 weeks, and all of these pieces make up your inner compass and the steps it takes to work with it. This week is about bringing it all together to see how it feels to finally trust and work with your own inner compass as a whole.

• The parts of yourself that you've befriended and learned to find win-win solutions with. Parts that are finally feeling heard, safe, and starting to trust you to lead because you’ve stopped neglecting and rejecting them.
• Your gut instinct that helps you know where to pause, set boundaries, slow down, and protect yourself
• Your intuition that nudges you toward the opportunities, relationships, and experiences you're trying to create for yourself to live a life of more security, joy and ease. 

You Get Bonuses, Too 😊

✨ Self Compassion Audio (With Practical Guidance): Building trust with yourself relies on your ability to be compassionate toward yourself, but a lot of us struggle with self compassion even when it comes naturally to be compassionate to others. Almost like we blank and don’t know what to do. We’ll kick the program off with an audio that breaks down a self compassion practice in a practical manner to help make it more accessible to you. 

✨ 3 Integration Calls After Graduation: Sustainable change happens over time and we’re going to experience hiccups. After the 12 weekly calls, we’ll do 3 monthly, 30 minute calls to check in and course-correct on whatever might still be coming up.

✨ A Year Subscription to the Perspective Newsletter: There are so many supplemental articles, guides, and resources in the newsletter to support with self trust as well as a lot of other topics of healing and relationship. Get free access to those for a year when you sign up. 

✨ Lifetime Access to the Course Material: The course lessons and homework are yours to return to and reference for as long as they remain online.

What about my coaching style? How do we know if that works for you?

I want to be clear about something: I’m in community with therapists, have a profound love and respect social workers & therapists, and I am pro therapy. My work complements that of traditional therapists and we have some key things in common, such as:

✨My #1 priority is providing an emotionally safe environment. I bring non-judgment to every interaction.

✨ I practice confidentiality and care deeply about your privacy.

✨ I pull from effective, evidence-based therapeutic approaches that many therapists use.

✨ I run a trauma-informed and, when needed, trauma-focused practice.

✨ It’s not up to me to decide what you "should" do or how you "should" feel. I honor what’s coming up for you and know that you’re the only person who can decide those things for yourself.

With That Being Said, Here's How I'm Different (and why I believe my clients are reporting accelerated progress):

✨ I will challenge you more directly and consistently than most therapists. This is the #1 thing my clients appreciate about my work. Holding space is an important part of my job, but my primary role as a coach is to help you find what you’re not seeing so you can do something about it. I'm very proactive about this. In every session we’re looking for the shift in perspective you need that day that will help you move forward.

✨ I’m not in charge. I’m your partner. The traditional western therapeutic structure creates and reinforces a hierarchy. I'm vehemently against this. I have certain tools and expertise I bring to the table, yes. But you're the expert on your life, how you experience it, and what you need accordingly.

If I offer a suggestion I’ll check in and ask if it feels true for you. I’ll let you know if I might be off base and encourage you to make that call. I’m not the decision-maker here. You get veto power on anything I say. It's your journey, it's your call.

✨ You Get More Tools. Instead of just relying on sessions I love the 3-pronged approach of this program (sessions + back pocket support + course material). With different types of tools and resources available your support will be more well-rounded, which reinforces consistent progress. Even if you don’t use 100% of those resources 100% of the time, chances are, you're covered.

The Art of Self Trust 12-week program includes:

✨ Lifetime Access to The Art of Self-Trust Course: which includes lessons and homework assignments you can complete in your personalized client platform. You can review your lessons, share them with me at your discretion, and track your progress.

✨ Weekly Coaching Calls: where we can dig into the nuances of what's coming up with you during the course and I can support you in your specific journey to developing a deeper sense of self trust.

✨ Back-pocket Support Between Calls: where you can message me (including voice notes) between sessions for quick coaching or to support you as new things come up.

✨ Self Compassion Audio (With Practical Guidance): Building trust with yourself relies on your ability to be compassionate toward yourself, but a lot of us struggle with self compassion even when it comes naturally to be compassionate to others. Almost like we blank and don’t know what to do. We’ll kick the program off with an audio that breaks down a self compassion practice in a practical manner to help make it more accessible to you. 

✨ 3 Integration Calls After Graduation: Sustainable change happens over time and we’re going to experience hiccups. After the 12 weekly calls, we’ll do 3 monthly, 30 minute calls to check in and course-correct on whatever might still be coming up.

✨ A Year Subscription to the Perspective Newsletter: There are so many supplemental articles, guides, and resources in the newsletter to support with self trust as well as a lot of other topics of healing and relationship. Get free access to those for a year when you sign up. 

Pricing options are accessible, flexible, and easier to explain on the call. But as long as you have a downpayment of $1,000 ready, you're good to get started.

So You Can Experience: 

✨ Way less indecision around confusing and hot and cold relationships, business, and job opportunities, way more decisiveness and discernment when it comes to making healthy decisions for yourself 

✨ Way less confusion around what you’re “supposed to” do, and way more clarity around what you need and want to do according to your own inner compass

✨ Way less avoiding setting boundaries because we're terrified of how they'll react. Way more ore trusting yourself to support yourself through whatever their reaction may be, and trusting the boundary will actually help you do that.

✨ Way less time questioning and doubting yourself, way more time believing and believing IN yourself

✨ Way less wishing you’d listened to your gut after the fact, a way deeper felt sense of peace and security because you’re finally trusting your gut and intuition to begin with, and feeling how much it’s supporting you.

✨ Way less fear around making mistakes, and way more confidence that even when you do make mistakes, you’ve got your own back 

✨ Way less rewriting the same text message ten times before sending it. Way more saying what you mean the first time, and being regulated allowing others to respond as they need to

✨ Way less fear around the unknown, way more confidence that you can support, cheerlead, and take care of yourself no matter what’s around the corner 

✨ Way less spiraling in shame, confusion, despair, and defeat. Way more taking a beat, coming home to yourself, knowing what you need to do, and having the courage to do it - even when it's tough.

✨ What else will developing a deeper sense of self trust do for you? 

Think this could help you?

At the time of writing this, this program is still relatively new, but here's what some clients have had to say about working with me before:

FAQs

What are the scheduling options? 

I try to get my clients set up on a set, repeated schedule for weekly calls. While my current availability will fluctuate depending on my caseload, my session availability generally falls within these hours: 

Tues: 10am - 6pm eastern 

Weds: 10am - 6pm eastern 

Thurs: 10am - noon eastern

Every other Saturday: 10:30am - 12:30pm eastern 

How do I know if this program is right for me?

This program is designed for people who struggle with indecision, second-guessing themselves, fear of mistakes, analysis paralysis, and other symptoms that indicate they struggle with self trust. But the best way to know if it's a good fit for you specifically is to book a free discovery call with me and I’m happy to let you know if it’s not the right solution for you.

What’s your vibe though? 

I hear I’m “very calm” and “very laid back” and “very kind”. I experience myself as focused and keeping an eye out for observations you might find helpful. My clients seem to enjoy chuckling at my facial expressions and asking me what my brain is cooking up for them.

What if I have a therapist? 

That’s totally okay. Most of my clients work with a therapist and report that working with me in any capacity compliments their therapeutic treatment. Many people will work with a therapist on one thing (like trauma) and work with me on something else. You and I can discuss potential for overlap and what boundaries might be helpful for you.

What happens if I miss a coaching session?

I allow for some flexibility in rescheduling sessions without penalty or late fees as long as it's not a frequent occurrence.

I'm afraid I won't do all of the homework in time 😩.

For starters: There's no grade. No pass or fail. Just support and resources for you to use as needed. I don't expect perfect completion of lessons. Just progress, which in 12 weeks we can totally accomplish.

Second: you get lifetime access to the course material. Meaning, as long as it's online, you will retain access to it until a time comes where I retire it or take it down (when its lifetime is over).

Third: Most of my clients are neurodivergent (as am I). This means about half of them complete every single lesson on time, and the other half will struggle to complete lessons on time and will skip some altogether, and that's okay.

I created this three-pronged system not so you use all of it, but so that you can feel free to use what accommodates you best as you need it. I trust that you'll gravitate toward the lessons you need as you need them. And if there’s one I think will be really helpful to go back to for you specifically, I’ll let you know. I’ve got your back.

Is there a payment plan available?

Yes! Payment options are:

• You can do a down payment of $1,000 + choose your own payment plan for a total of $3600.
• Pay $3200 up front

How long do I have access to the coursework?

You’ll have lifetime access to the course.

What are the modalities you use?

My approach blends:

• Somatic Parts Work (inspired by Internal Family Systems. I was taught by Fran Booth)
• Somatic Embodiment & Regulation (trained by Linda Thai)
• Compassionate Inquiry (Gabor Mate)
• Mindfulness & Meditation inspired techniques (I've been practicing these since I was about 15)
• Psychoanalysis, CBT, and DBT-inspired techniques (learned from all over the place if I'm being honest).

Why can’t I book a single call?

Because change requires practice over time.

For any other questions, book a free discovery call below.