Transforming Your Inner Critic
A while ago I was thinking about a rut I'd been stuck in.
My self talk reached a point that was like, "Bro you need to get your shit together".
Gasp!
Every single one of my friends would've chimed in to silence this inner critic, saying something like, "Tori, don't talk to yourself that way! You need to be more compassionate with yourself."
Frankly, I'm glad my friends weren't there to get in the way of me loving myself.
Though their protest would've come from a loving place, the same is true for my inner critic (IC).
Take a look at each of their statements side by side to notice the irony:
- "Bro you need to get your shit together."
- "Tori! Don't talk to yourself that way!"
They both give a strong suggestion (IC) and command (friends) for how I can do better at loving myself.
Both have my best interests at heart.
Do you see how they're not that different?
There is one difference: my IC and I had context about where each one of us was coming from for that to be a well timed, well-placed comment to myself.
Because let's be real, I'm not out here telling people I don't care about to get their shit together.
If I say that to you, it's because I do care, and I'm trying to give you a wake up call before life hands you a more painful one.
I recognized this intention immediately with my IC.
The issue in taking this stance with our friends is that we can overstep. But what am I going to tell my IC? "Mind your business"? I am its business.
And I understood its intentions.
So I wasn't bothered and I didn't feel bullied. I didn't feel any harm at all.
On the contrary, I felt a loving push toward action that's, ultimately, caring and good for me.
And it worked.
So... is it okay for our IC to sometimes be a little...critical?
How does this work?
